On the eve of IELTS Speaking module

Anxiety is not new to me. Anxiety triggered headaches come for free 😬

I am due for undertaking speaking module of IELTS tomorrow.

Honestly, I am experiencing anxiety in myriad ways. Last Thursday, I received an email indicating the test schedule for speaking module. That set the ball rolling. My sincere preparation began on the following Saturday. I think I have been taxing myself with preparation and a lot more thought of how damn am I going to crack this test. Too many things have started demanding my time and attention. Why God? Why? Why all at once?

The email from IELTS mentions that I should practice speaking with my mask on. Uffff! I am trying but definitely not comfortable.

My trainer mentions that I am doing great during the practice sessions. I she likes my vocabulary, diction, pronounciation, thoughts etc. I am glad I can articulate.

So why or what am I fearing? I don’t know! Maybe it’s the pressure of cracking it in one go. I cannot afford to pay another INR 14,700/- for another attempt of IELTS. I better get it right this time. I have a personal target that I want to achieve, a target higher than what is needed for Canada PR.

My mind is like a mixer-grinder now. I have been having a headache throughout the day. I took a session with my IELTS trainer. She evaluated my assignments for writing tasks. I feel dumb about certain mistakes I made in the assignment. I hope I permit myself to review my answers before I submit.

I was worked up about WES update. I was happy to find an email from WES that they have finally received my documents. I had a sigh of relief. Now I am confident that the evaluation would be complete in a matter of time. About thirty minutes ago, I received an email from WES stating that my evaluation has been completed. They have verified and certified that I have earned a PhD that is equivalent to a doctorate in Canada. What a great relief this is!

I am already thinking about what is next on the follow up document that Mr. Koneshwaran from Lodestone immigration sent me. I am having half breaths. I think I am anxious about taking a leap. I should first focus and complete IELTS exam successfully. After all this is the only chance I have.

Ok now I tell myself to drink some warm water and go to bed peacefully.

I am in the edge of the beginning process. I have a long way to go to Canada.